What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
Obviously, nobody can have literally everything. “All” is different for everyone, and is more of a question of what someone feels that they need to live a content life. I believe that with the right perspective, you can feel like you “have it all” no matter what you do or don’t have.
For some people, having it all means having a loving partner, a lakeside house with a boat, a successful career, etc.
If you can learn to be content and grateful in the present while working towards future goals, you can “have it all” regardless of circumstance.
What have you always wanted to do in life? Learn to play an instrument? Perhaps you’d like to speak another language. Make a YouTube channel. Start painting. Whatever. Well, “whatever” within reason of course. I’m talking about things that enrich your life and/or the lives of others.
I have wanted to write this blog and start a YouTube channel for a long time. I’ve been putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off again. “I don’t have the time.” “I don’t have the equipment.” “I don’t know what to talk/write about.” “Nobody cares what I have to say anyway.”
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Now, it may be true that I don’t have much time as a stay at home mom of two, and that I’m pretty much limited to what I can do on my phone with one hand for the majority of my day. However, the real issue lies within the last two excuses.
“I don’t know what to write/talk about.” Oh, but I do. I’m always thinking about stuff. What’s really happening is that I’m overthinking because I’m afraid it will be bad and nobody will like it. “Nobody cares what I have to say anyway.” And there it is. The root of the problem. The fear that was holding me back.
Well, no more! I decided to venture into that dark abyss of vulnerability. It may be true that nobody cares, and maybe what I create will be bad to someone. Maybe even a lot of someones.
But you know what? I’m doing this for me as much as anyone else. It’s okay to not be perfect at something at first, and it’s okay if nobody cares but me. I don’t want to spend my life frozen in fear.
So, what’s holding you back from doing that thing that would enrich your life? What are you afraid of?
Letting go of attachments in order to get what you want in life is a concept touted by many a spiritual seeker. Life got you down? Just let it go. Simple enough, right?
Yeah, I can feel you rolling your eyes at me through your screen. “Just let it go? Attachments? You want me to stop caring about everything? As if it’s that easy.”
Oh no, my dear reader. Not at all. Letting go of attachments does not require that you stop caring about things. In fact, I find that it opens new pathways for passion. And, though the solution to what ails us may be simple, it is most certainly not easy.
What are attachments, and why are they a problem?
Personally, I like to take a page out of the Taoist playbook to explain this one. Imagine that you are floating down a river, its powerful current ever pulling you towards a vast ocean.
Now imagine that instead of floating down that river on your back, enjoying the sights and sounds, you’re flailing around, grabbing onto whatever you can to try to control the pull of the current. You’re slamming against rocks and tree roots, and practically ripping your arms out of their sockets trying to hold on to whatever you can grab. You’re tired, and feel like you can barely stay afloat. Sometimes you begin to slip beneath the water and drown. The current does not relent and your journey to the ocean continues.
In this analogy, the river is life, and its current is everything in life that you cannot control. That dickhead driver, a cancer diagnosis, the weather, your kids, other people’s kids, your past, your inevitable death, etcetera, etcetera…hopefully you get the point.
Many of us crave control over these things, and we try to gain control by excessively worrying, or having unreasonable expectations of other people. We ruminate on the way we think things should be rather than accepting what is. We desperately desire a certain outcome and we think we can never be happy without it. We develop an attachment.
The problem is when we do this, we’re missing out on what is happening right now. The past doesn’t exist. The future is uncertain. The only real thing is this moment, right here. When we spend our “right now” trying to control the uncontrollable, we don’t see the opportunities that are right in front of us.
How do we let go of attachments, then?
Stop trying to control everything. Focus on the only thing you can control. Your response to the uncontrollable current of life.
You can’t control the rain, but you can get an umbrella or look for shelter. Sometimes you can’t even find that, and I know how much that sucks from personal experience having slept in the rain more than once when I was homeless. In those situations, when the current is particularly turbulent, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to say, “Well this blows. But it won’t last forever.” And before you know it you’re truly enjoying the sunshine while your socks and everything else you own is drying beside you on the sidewalk.
Greetings reader! Thank you for stumbling upon my blog. You may be asking yourself, “What does she mean ‘Everyday Immortal?’ What kind of hokey bullshit is this?”
I’m glad you asked.
I must admit, I do enjoy the idea of spiritual awakenings, oneness, shadow-work, and all that jazz. However, I’ve noticed that people tend to talk about these things in a way that makes them seem rather…inaccessible.
Take the scores of internet charlatans who promise enlightenment hidden behind a wall of gobbledygook, woo-woo language that can be unlocked via their masterclass for the low, low price of 300 dollars. What a steal!
Stealing from you, that is.
The fact is, I believe that these ideas do have truth to them. I believe that this information shouldn’t be wrapped up in esoteric packaging and marketed to people as the hidden secret to spiritual enlightenment.
So, what am I doing here?
I want to share the things I’ve learned as freely as they were given to me, in terms that everyone can understand. My hope is that I can help at least one other person feel as unstoppable and mentally/spiritually immortal as I do.
Everyday Immortal 