The Tools of my Craft

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

Having been homeless, I know I can survive just fine on the basic necessities. However, if there’s one thing I want to keep in my life, it’s a musical instrument of some sort.

I never realized how important it was to me until I had all of my stuff, including my instrument, stolen from me when I was homeless in San Francisco.

Through a series of events, which I have written about here, my keyboard was returned to me. Then it broke, and another keyboard of the same model basically fell into my lap.

So instruments are something I like to keep around, and something I feel like I’m supposed to have with me in order to do what I’m here to do. That is, express myself in ways that help me and hopefully others.

How I Realized I Was A Musician

I’ve always loved music. I’ve been playing music on any instrument I could get my hands on since I was a very small child. Not necessarily musical instruments in the traditional sense. I hear the capacity for music in everything. I have music inside of my soul.

That’s not to say I don’t play traditional instruments as well. Instruments have always been part of my life. I’ve always played around on pianos. I played the violin throughout elementary and middle school. I played the trumpet. I sing. You might call someone like that a musician. Still, I never felt comfortable referring to myself as such.

The only instruments I really kept up with throughout the years were my voice and the piano. It wasn’t until I started traveling that I came to terms with the fact that I am a musician.

To figure it out, I had to lose almost everything I owned.

I was homeless in San Francisco at the time, and honestly I was pretty naive. I left my backpack behind where a few friends were sleeping, and it got snatched up. Fortunately I had a few things like my wallet on my person in a little satchel, and I still had my dog.

Everything else, though, gone. I had my childhood collection of GameBoy, GBA, DS, and 3DS Pokémon games in that bag. All of my clothing. My dog’s stuff. A stuffed animal from when I was 5. My sleeping gear. My 2 and a half octave Casio keyboard.

I spent awhile angrily searching for crackheads to interrogate, but it was pointless. My stuff was long gone. I abandoned my search. As I sat, mulling the situation over and trying to come to terms with it. I realized that above all else, my heart was aching from the lack of being able to play my sorrows out on my instrument. I  said to the ether, “Okay. You can have it. I’m willing to let it go. But if I could have anything back, I want my keyboard. I feel so lost without an instrument.”

This is me back in the day, pre-theft. You can see the keyboard in question behind me.

After that, I let it be. Over the next few days I started to pick up the pieces, rather than focusing on what I had lost. I acquired clothing, a new sleeping bag, something to carry it all in. Then one morning, maybe 3 days after my bag was stolen, I received a message on Facebook.

The man said that he had found my old ID card, which I was very glad I had kept in my bag despite replacing it, and that he had used it to look me up on Facebook. Any guesses as to what was with my ID card?

My freaking keyboard. Along with my old set of car keys and some Pokémon cards.

An excerpt from the conversation, edited to protect the privacy of my good Samaritan.

I couldn’t believe it. Part of me didn’t want to believe it until I had my keyboard back in my hands. So, I went to retrieve it with some help from a friend who knew how to get there.

I walked into the building and told security that an employee had dropped off a few things for me to pick up. The security guard handed me a small cardboard box, and there it was. My keyboard, my old ID, some Pokémon cards, and my keys. Just like my FaceBook good Samaritan said. I never even met the guy, although we are still Facebook friends all these years later.

The fact that I had gotten my keyboard back was so unbelievable to me, yet I had it in my hands again. I played a lot more after that, and I felt more comfortable doing it. It felt like playing music was something I was supposed to do.

If there was any doubt in my mind, the next instance sealed it for me.

A few months later, this magical keyboard broke. I was a little bummed, but instead of letting it get me down, as I understood the impermanence of possessions painfully well after having my things stolen months earlier, I went right into solution mode, racking my brain on how to get another one.

Not even an hour after it broke, a random man came to my hangout spot looking for me specifically, with a brand new keyboard of the exact same model. He wanted to trade it to me for way less than the selling price, practically nothing. Now that I think about it, it was probably stolen, but that never crossed my mind at the time.

Apparently some people down the street had told him I might be interested, although none of them knew my keyboard had just broken.

That was when I realized that I am a musician. It’s not about the level of skill. I don’t have to be the best singer or instrumentalist to be a musician. It’s about what’s in my heart, and it’s music, baby. I’m here to express the things I can’t express any other way.

My song, Wandering Soul

Happiness Is Free

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

To live a good life, all you need is the ability to cultivate happiness wherever you are.

Easier said than done. Also, I’m not going to argue that money can’t buy happiness. I think it can to an extent. What I argue is that it isn’t necessary, although it sure makes it easier to focus on nurturing our little happy plants sometimes.

Let me tell you, we have been going through it recently. Just one thing after another. I am not rich. In fact, I am fairly poor. Recently, my family took several huge financial hits. Then, my husband was out making money to help us catch up, and he was robbed of what he had earned. After that, someone broke into my car.

It would be very easy for me to neglect my happiness and allow myself to slip into a state of despair. However, I remain happy.

You see, I’ve been homeless. I’ve slept in the rain. I’ve eaten food out of trash cans. I’ve been looked down upon, treated like garbage by society. I learned how to be happy then, too.

I was happy when I had nothing because I was grateful. I was grateful that I had any food at all. I was grateful when people were kind. And at my lowest, sleeping in the rain, I was grateful because I knew how warm the sunshine would feel the next morning.

Me, Myself and I

Who do you spend the most time with?

Here at Everyday Immortal, I like to dive deep and think about things at more than just the surface level.

At first I thought, “That’s easy. I spend the most time with my kids, my baby specifically.” Then I realized, I’ve got to go deeper. There’s got to be a way I can make this prompt a little more profound.

And so there is. I spend the most time with myself! Of course! The one person on earth I couldn’t get away from even if I wanted to, and believe me, I wanted to for much of my life.

These days, I enjoy a pretty great relationship with myself. I’ve gotten to know who I am, my strengths, my weaknesses, and I’ve started to enjoy my own company.

Treat yourself like your own best friend. That’s one step along the path to self-love and self-acceptance. Trust me, it is worth it.

How I Became Scarlet

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

Scarlet. This is the name I use for my blog, but it is not my legal name.

Around late 2016, I was an absolute mess. I had just left one bad relationship, and already had my heart broken within a few months. I may go into detail about that particular episode of heartbreak, as well as subsequent ones in future posts.

I had resolved to move on, but I was just wandering around aimlessly through life trying to fill the void. Moving in with a roommate and swiping around on Tinder with little to no success were fun in the moment, but I still felt empty.

Until one day, I met some strange folks. Travelers. Traversing the US with few possessions, little to no money, and different concerns than your average working adult. I started hanging out with them on my off time, learning more about their lifestyle. I kept working my job and hanging out with them for a few months, wanting to join them but too scared to make the jump.

Around the new year, my roommate randomly decided to move, leaving me with her half of the rent to figure out, something I could not afford, and I just couldn’t take it. I liked my job at an ice cream shop, but I felt like I would rather kill myself than go in another day. I was truly mentally breaking down. So I decided that instead of ending my life, I would do something drastically different, because I had nothing else to lose.

So, on January 7th, 2017, my new life as Scarlet began. I didn’t gain the name until much later, in June of 2018. I had a lot of adventures leading up to that, and many more after. Maybe someday I’ll detail those adventures. The trips back and forth across the US, up and down the west coast. The misty San Fransisco nights spent in the company of friends. The wonder and beauty of the natural landscape, which I feel blessed to have seen so much of.

I have had many experiences of beauty and joy. With these came darkness, heartbreak and loss. All of these experiences contributed to Scarlet, and she was born the day I resolved to do something different, the day the old self died.

The government and most people back here in the real world call me by my legal name, and that’s fine. I know who I am. I was a caterpillar who transformed into a butterfly.

I am Scarlet!

I Can’t Pick Just One!

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

I’m not sure of my absolute favorite book, but what immediately popped out to me was The Magic Treehouse series and The Bailey School Kids books.

The Magic Treehouse always piqued my interest as a kid because I have always loved history. The Bailey School Kids stories often had supernatural themes which is another interest of mine.

Just A Short List

List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

I actually wanted to write a post about my top 5 books after I’d read them again and taken notes. I’ll just make this quick for now.

1. Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

2. The Sublte Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson

3. The Enchiridion by Epictetus

These books have given me perspectives that help me live a happy, peaceful life.