I’ve spent my life observing. Observing myself, observing other people. All very interesting to me. Something I’ve observed is the tendency many of us have to become trapped in a place I call “The Land of Should.”
“The Land of Should” is a fantastical place. It entices us with promises of happiness and abundance, if only everyone and everything would go EXACTLY the way they should. In our opinion, anyway. Should Land looks bright, shiny and wonderful, but it’s all bullshit. It’s nothing more than a desert mirage, a projection of what could be. Not what is.
My kids should listen to me more. People should keep it down after 10 PM. My ex shouldn’t have treated me that way. It should be sunny out right now. There shouldn’t be war in the world. People should just love each other and themselves and be happy! I shouldn’t have to tell my husband, he should just know!
Should, should, should, should. I’m shoulding all over myself and everyone else right now. And do you know what dwelling on all of my “shoulds” does for me? Absolutely nothing positive.
The world doesn’t operate on “should.” It operates on “is.”
That’s not to say we can’t want things for the world, ourselves and other people. We absolutely can. In order to give these things the greatest chance of happening, we need to move our locus of control to an internal position and operate from the way things are, not the way we wish things were. Change, yes, even changing the world, starts within.
Everyday Immortal 